Box Office Lament

Barcodes on tickets
but missing on printouts
Bright red folders
With TodayTix ducats
Sealed envelopes left at will call windows
These are a few of my least favorite things

Third party sales
and Stub-hubs on phones
Whited out names on
PDF forms
ADA seats scalped or sold at full price
These are a few of my least favorite things

A hundred producers and more investors
Chat board wags worse than child molesters
No late seating and no refunds too
These are a few of my least favorite things

When the Star's out
and the folks scowl
Then I'm feeling sad
I simply remember my least favorite things
And then I feel real bad

TDF resos
And those Tony Voters too
Trade tix aplenty
And Comps up the wazoo
No nominations to help things along
These are a few of my least favorite things

New Yorkers leaving town
On Holiday weekends
Short TKTS lines
and holes in the orch
Closing the balcony when it's too sparse
These are a few of my least favorite things

Patrons that conceal their discounts are actions
that make us redo the entire transactions
"Why will the code not work in the center?"
These are a few of my least favorite things

When the drawer is off
when the perf's down
Then I'm feeling sad
I simply remember my least favorite things
And then I get real mad




With apologies to Rodgers and Hammerstein, Julie Andrews, and anyone else taking offense.